The Vampire Diaries Recap: The Departed

You guys. This is it. Only one hour left of TVD Season 3. What a crazy mother lovin ride, yeah? I can’t believe we’re this close to summer hiatus a.k.a. HELL. What are we even going to do with ourselves? Don’t think I’m ready. And tonight Elena makes a choice. My heart! My stomach! I’m not sure I want to know. I may have to watch through my fingers. Either way, I’ll soon know whether my unicorns are going out for a run or getting put to sleep. I’M SO NERVOUS!!! Like to the point of not being able to function. There is not enough wine in the world for this. No doubt there will be screaming and crying and bloodletting. And that’s just me. Here we go!! Kicking and screaming the whole way!!

  • JENNA!!!! Where is her wine glass though??
  • Awwww!! The boys are like big brothers!! I love the way they talk to Jeremy. Such a-holes.
  • Alaric can’t really be Elena’s guardian because she’s 18. FYI.
  • I find it very hard to believe that Elena did not get paint in her hair. This show just lost major believability points.
  • Caroline should probably cross doctor off of her list of possible professions. Because we all know a good head injury needs liquor and sleep.
  • It’s official! Bonnie has always been annoying!!
  • It’s like way weird to see Matt & Elena kiss. Good weird but still weird.
  • STELENA HUGS!!!!!!!!! My heart just flipped over like a bazillion times. She looked so happy to see him!!
  • ELIJAH!!!! So many faces I love already!!!!!! My God I just love him. I love the way he says Elena. I love the way he’s always making deals. LOVE. HIM.
  • The moms are so sad!! They’re making me sad!! Ty and Care can’t run away!!! Well, Ty maybe can but not Caroline! She’s my sunshine!
  • Matt & Jeremy? Really? Are you guys making the best decisions?
  • There is some really crazy complicated plan going on. I am sure I will be very confused before this is all over.
  • They are very sweet. Tyler and Caroline. I kind of love this. Caroline is THE BEST. Refusing to do anything until she has helped her friends.
  • Damon is in rare form. Hilarious. So whiny and annoyed with everything. He can’t seem to stop talking in his highest pitch.
  • Oh. My. I love it when he touches her face. I’m not crying at all. Nope. Don’t say later!! There might not be a later!!
  • DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!! HOLY RUNNING UNICORNS BATMAN!!! I am sobbing and hyperventilating and clapping and that was just the most AWESOME THING EVER!! They haven’t kissed in so long. SO LONG. I can’t even make sense right now. That was everything. No matter what happens next I needed that so bad.
  • It hurts to see Alaric and Damon at odds but Damon did kind of had that coming.
  • I may have to do a whole separate post for that ISF commercial.
  • “I suck at tea.” BE MORE EFFING ADORABLE MATT!!
  • Elena is making me cry. I know all about the wishing mom was there. So sad.
  • Matt drugged Elena?? That took some balls! Go Matt!
  • KLAUS!! NO!!! OMG!!! NO!! There’s some way around that, RIGHT?? RIGHT??????????????
  • So is he NOT the head of their bloodline? He totally lied, yes?
  • They seem so sad. I can’t. I just can’t. I need my Salvatore brothers!! NEED.
  • Here is the moment of choice. Can’t breathe.
  • TYLER!! Even if Klaus was lying about the Salvatores, he is definitely not gonna make it. Oh shit. Caroline though. Crap on a cracker.
  • I am crying over Damon’s tears. Take note. This is just really sad. And hard!
  • STEFAN. SHE CHOSE STEFAN. SHE LOVES STEFAN. My heart has stopped working. It’s full and hurting and THERE ARE UNICORNS!!! SO MANY UNICORNS! UNICORNS FOR DAYS!!
  • Caroline. Oh Jesus. This is gonna be so painful. Why does the world insist on hurting her so much? She’s so good and sweet and perfect.
  • And Tyler is being so strong for her. I don’t have enough buckets for the tears!!!
  • WAIT! He’s changing! So maybe only the vampire half dies? Maybe the wolf side gets to live!
  • MATTY TEARS TOO?? Seriously? This is awful.
  • The more everyone cries the more I cry.
  • OMG!!! HE’S IN TYLER’S BODY!!! OMG!!! Klaus is fine and everyone is fine! WHAT THE HELL SHOW!!!
  • Damon!! Get up!! Fight back!
  • Wait, what? What is this? No way.
  • I kind of don’t believe that. I mean, S1 Damon would not have been like that, right? Maybe because she looked like Katherine? But still.
  • Here we go. More crying.
  • STEFAN!! She won’t let him help her until he helps Matt. I can’t breathe and I can’t see what is happening because of the crying.
  • Ghost Alaric?
  • THIS IS THE WORST!
  • HOLY MOTHER EFFING CRAP!
  • ……………………………
  • She’s turned.
  • Fuck me running.
  • That was THE BEE’S KNEES.
  • At least I think it was. Not sure how I feel yet really.
  • WOW.
  • Holy. Shit.
  • What the hell?
  • Are my unicorns still out running on their rainbows? Where is Virgil?
  • INSANE!
  • I am going to carry on like this for 4 months, FYI. Just sitting here spitting out expletives and staring into the void of shock and amazement.
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7 Comments

Filed under Recaps, Television

7 responses to “The Vampire Diaries Recap: The Departed

  1. Jema

    First of all.. THIS WAS THE BEST FINALE EVER!!

    This makes Katherine cutting off John’s fingers look as boring as seeing Damon being all pussy whipped and not sassy..

    Klaus being staked made me scream and then I remembered Bonnie was in the room and I hoped she wasnt useless ALL the time.. And she wasnt.. But where the heck is Tyler now? Is he in there with Klaus? If Klaus showers and washes his junk would Tyler press charges? Is it gay just because Klaus is IN Tyler? This wouldnt go down well in North Carolina.

    Getting off the gay smut possibilities..

    Watching Elena in the car saying ‘goodbye’ to her parents killed me.. the comparisons of Stefan saving her once then failing the next time and his face as he sat over her body killed me.. Altho I dont think vamps i MF use their vamp speed enough.. Couldnt he have swam down super fast and made it back for Elena?? Couldnt he have taken both with his super strength?

    Alaric saying goodbye or ‘ill be there for you’ to Jeremy made me sob like a meeeeean bitch. I love Alaric. I dont want him to go anywhere..

    And that ending.. WOAH!! I was NOT prepared for Elena to vamp out so soon.. Now Matt really is the most boring and huan person in MF.. I kinda want Matt to witch out. He would be able to do more than Bonnie right??

    AMAZING recap erin.. looove!

  2. Jamie

    I didn’t really care for the finale =[

    I can’t have a JoMo-less TVD. I JUST CAN’T. Already knew Elena was going to end up a vamp, just didn’t know who would give her the vamp blood. I’m happy my boo, Elijah made it to S4, yayyyy ELIJAH!! Really though, Elena’s whole I met him first ummm…justification..I just was so annoyed by it. The Damon/Elena interaction from before she ever met Stefan was amazing. I’m looking forward to the fact that as a vamp she’s going to remember that..and all the other things he’s said to her and compelled her to forget. Other than that….I just don’t know…

  3. Matt Donovan does have a steely pair of cajones! Never saw that coming.

    • I totally agree and can’t wait for it to rrteun next week this scene show’s what a ASS Damon can truly be. Not once did he ever say thanks for finding a cure to Stefan, all he did was take advantage of the face Stefan was gone and move in on Stefan’s girl. I believe Katherine and Elena said it best it will always be Stefan .

  4. ROTFLMFAO @Jema’s Klaus and Tyler statement! OMG, I needed that laugh! ERIN!!! I could totally make sweet love to Julie Plec and her crew for this episode! I can’t even remember a better episode! EVER! First and formost ELIJAH IN THE MOTHER F**KING HOUSE!!!!! I am team Elijah for everything, I love that man! I knew Klaus wasn’t gone gone! I knew Elena was going to pick Stefan! I mean yes Damon is hot and funny, but that was not LOVE it was lust PPL! LOL I sobbed so bad it felt like I trully lost my dear friends, first with Tyler and Caroline, then with Elena making her choice and finally Ric broke my ever loving heart! OMFG, I will be watching this episode over and over. My DVR is going to hate me!

  5. I feel like Elena was kind of a jerk for choosing to go back to see Stefan (who was surrounded by people) and leave Damon alone to die with his broken heart. No matter who you ship, that’s cold. I also think she has to turn in order to truly choose either of them. She doesn’t have all the puzzle pieces until she remembers Damon’s compulsion. It would be an injustice to both if her final decision wasn’t a fully informed one. And, as a sidenote…why is it Stefan chose to use approximately 15 seconds to argue with Elena under water? Time was sorta of the essence there…lol.

  6. Pingback: Previously On The Vampire Diaries: The Departed (EP322) | Vampire-Diaries.net | A Fansite for the Vampire Diaries

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